A bit about me: I am a resident of Defiance, Ohio for the time being. It's a nice place, but nothing much happens here. I am employed by an independent telephone company, which shall remain unnamed here so as to avoid embarrassing my co-workers. I have no children, but I'm not totally opposed to them. I am told by most who know me that I am fairly intelligent. This could cut both ways. Either they are correct, or they are morons, and I am average at best.
Most of the opinions expressed on this blog will be ill-informed, unpopular, and downright mean. If you can't handle that, please leave, and never return. I tend to find funny in the darkness, and I kinda like it out of the sun.
As I write this, it is Friday night. I'm lying in my bed and pondering where I went wrong. Twice in my life, so far, I have found someone I truly felt I loved and wanted to pursue a serious relationship with. I watched one of them get married a few years ago, which was a bit surreal. She seemed very happy, and I hope she still is. I was never able to come out of my shell enough to express my feelings for her when I might have had an opportunity. Huge mistake on my part, but I suppose that's what I get.
The other one is a bit of an enigma. I have felt a myriad of emotions over her, and I have no clear idea of her feelings toward me. Sometimes, I feel a bit like a toy she plays with when she is bored with life. I don't have any expectation that she'll ever feel for me what I feel for her. Even if she does, it seems impossible that we could ever be together. The situation depresses me sometimes, but I try not to let it keep me down. I still hold out hope that I'll ever have a chance with her, but it's fading as time goes by.
Either way, I'll keep on living. The alternative seems too final. For now, I'm going to sleep. Big day tomorrow, and I want to be fresh for it.
BW
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