How to Make a Bad Deal Worse

On November 3, 2009 Ohioans had to decide whether or not to amend the state constitution to allow casino gambling.  The issue was debated by supporters of the measure, who argued that casino license fees and taxes would be a boost to the state's economy, and opponents, who felt that there were numerous problems with the ballot language.  The opponents pointed out that the language was remarkably specific for a constitutional amendment, almost as though it were specially crafted to benefit certain interests, and provided for far lower licence fees and tax rates than had been seen in other states.  A study by Hiram College's Public Policy Analysis Group pointed out several problems with the initiative.  *end factual portion*

So, Ohio voters were mislead into approving a bad casino deal.  Now, (well June 4, really.  Not actually now) the General Assembly has decided to make them utterly unappealing with a set of rules that must have been drafted by the Temperance Union.  If you don't want to read the whole of the text (and I sure didn't) it breaks down like this:

• No one under 21 permitted in casinos. - I'm fine with this because I hate young people.
• No smoking in casinos. - I'm fine with this, too.  Smoking isn't permitted in nearly any other public place in the state.
• Liquor sales must end by 2:30 AM. - This isn't Vegas, folks.  What did you expect?
• Casinos will not be permitted to give gamblers complementary alcoholic beverages. - WTF?!?!?!!?

What a bunch of pricks.  Why can't these self-righteous d-bags let people have a small piece of consolation in the form of the one complementary beer you can manage to get a cocktail waitress to zombie-shuffle to the table per hour?  In most of my trips to casinos, I had a hard time finding anyone willing to take a drink order.  There have been times I was so thirsty I considered setting fire to the carpet hoping to maybe attract one waitress in the throng that always assembles when a fire starts so I could beg her to bring me a damn beer.  Even in the tribal-owned casinos, where nothing is free because they're going to get every nickel they can as revenge for all those smallpox-riddled blankets given to them years ago, I defy anyone to get a drink at a table in under 20 minutes.


The closest most people ever come to getting over on a casino is a night they are lucky enough to last at the tables or slots for the amount of time it takes to get their sixth complementary drink.  If they're really lucky, they metabolize alcohol like a Filipino (VERY slowly, and yes, I know that's probably a racist stereotype, but screw you.  I don't know any Filipinos who aren't bombed after three beers, and neither do you because they don't exist.) and they have a light buzz working at the time they bust out because the dealer hit a soft 17, drew a three, and took their last $5 chip.  Even as the poor sucker hears the smarmy "Better luck next time" from behind him, he can hold his head high.  After all, the drinks didn't cost extra.  Degenerate gamblers in Ohio will never know that feeling of victory, though, because the church ladies in the state legislature have decided that there can't even be a faux positive aspect to anything within Ohio's borders.  No, if you decide to patronize one of these houses of sin, they will do everything in their power to lessen the experience for you because they know what's best.


Some might say that prohibiting complementary booze in casinos protects gamblers from predatory operators looking to cloud players' judgment in order to increase the house's take, but I reject that argument out-of-hand.  People that make bad bets don't make them because they're drunk.  They make them because they're just generally messed up, and a mistake was just waiting for the right lighting to make its appearance.  We can't protect those people forever, so why should the rest of us (who will be making our rent/mortgage, car, merkin, etc. payments even after the casino trip, thank you very much) have to suffer for the sake of the screw-ups?


As a result of this horrible decision, I have decided not to patronize any casino within the state of Ohio for the following reasons:

1. They will not be paying nearly enough money into the tax coffers. - Normally, I don't support punitive tax rates, but normal businesses normally produce goods or services of use to the public.  Casinos do not.
2. They will not create enough economic impact in their communities to justify their existence.
3. Anyone who does cross the threshold of one of these places to plunk their kid's college fund down on 17 black because they had a gut-feeling will have to pay extra for the martinis they'll need to drink to get over the shame of having to explain why Junior suddenly has to do work-study after the damn ball landed on 34 red.

Please join me in my sure-to-be-ultimately-feckless-and-futile campaign against Ohio casinos.  I urge you not to spend one penny in a gambling house within the borders of the state.  If you must engage in self-destructive behavior, eat at Applebee's (do they even have a meal under 6000 calories, 4 lbs of fat?) or at least go out-of-state to gamble.  Find a nice gaming parlor on a reservation, pull up a stool, and make restitution to them, one pull at a time.

This was written with a mildly interesting Grey's Anatomy on in the background

I'm sitting here watching TV and remembering that I wanted to post something tonight. I haven't been good at keeping this updated, and I haven't really written anything of consequence yet. That seems to be a pattern with me: start something with the best of intentions, play at it for a while, then lose interest and let it fall by the wayside. There's really no purpose to this blog; I just wanted to have a place to write thoughts that are too unwieldy for Twitter and Facebook. That's what this space is, and I guess I have less to say than I once believed.

So, the last couple of weeks have been very productive at work. Our new phone switch is now hosting a number of its very own. It's kinda awesome when you consider that I have no earthly idea how it actually functions. The thing is spitting out dialtone, Caller ID, and other telephony-type accoutrement. I'm really impressed about how much a person can accomplish when he relies on the knowledge and problem-solving ability of other people. Also, I've gotten our DSLAMs to work with the switch to eliminate some parts of the network. Fewer pieces = less to go wrong. We like this. Simple really is beautiful.

And since no one really cares about tech talk (thank you, Wiggly, for reminding me of that), I'll put a few personal things out for consumption. I have been feeling so much better in the last few days than I have in a long while. I can't really point to anything in particular that should make me feel happier; I just do. My friend's bachelor party was this past weekend, and I realized, once again, that I know someone who reacts to situations almost the same way I do. I feel a little bad about putting him in an awkward situation, but he handled it like a champ. In short, a good time was had by all, despite some awkwardness (mostly mine.)

I've deleted my old MySpace account, and it feels good. It was just something I didn't really check anymore, and I hated looking at most of the abominations people created there. Facebook is the flavor-of-the-month, but it's also a damn useful site. That's not to say that it couldn't be better, but it does what I need it to do, which is to provide a place for me to share stories and random thoughts with my friends who don't use digg.com or look at Techdirt, Dvorak Uncensored, Crooks and Liars, The Movie Blog, or any of the other sites I enjoy. Somehow, this has become my main source of interaction with people, which might be sad to some, but it's working for me. I live in a place where I don't have a lot of people around who are interested in the things that get me going, so Facebook is a point of connection with five or so of the 130-ish people who claim to know me and also bother to read one or two of the things that get my hamster on the wheel.

Believe it or not, it's taken an hour for me to write this. I'm tired now, and I want to stop. If you've read this far, you deserve a prize. Please write your Congresscritter for that, as I don't have anything for you. It's going to be a great day tomorrow. I can't say why, but I feel it.

Goodbye for now.

Another Friday night - First post

Hello. If you're reading this, you're probably on the wrong page. I don't quite know what to put here, but I've had a few ideas swirling about. I'm thinking about maybe posting thoughts on random news stories. I realize that I'm breaking new, unexplored territory with that one, but I am not afraid. Mostly, this will be a collection of thoughts I believe are important enough to share with the one other person who may read them. This is a brave new world, and I'm going to dip a toe into the water to see if I like it.

A bit about me: I am a resident of Defiance, Ohio for the time being. It's a nice place, but nothing much happens here. I am employed by an independent telephone company, which shall remain unnamed here so as to avoid embarrassing my co-workers. I have no children, but I'm not totally opposed to them. I am told by most who know me that I am fairly intelligent. This could cut both ways. Either they are correct, or they are morons, and I am average at best.

Most of the opinions expressed on this blog will be ill-informed, unpopular, and downright mean. If you can't handle that, please leave, and never return. I tend to find funny in the darkness, and I kinda like it out of the sun.

As I write this, it is Friday night. I'm lying in my bed and pondering where I went wrong. Twice in my life, so far, I have found someone I truly felt I loved and wanted to pursue a serious relationship with. I watched one of them get married a few years ago, which was a bit surreal. She seemed very happy, and I hope she still is. I was never able to come out of my shell enough to express my feelings for her when I might have had an opportunity. Huge mistake on my part, but I suppose that's what I get.

The other one is a bit of an enigma. I have felt a myriad of emotions over her, and I have no clear idea of her feelings toward me. Sometimes, I feel a bit like a toy she plays with when she is bored with life. I don't have any expectation that she'll ever feel for me what I feel for her. Even if she does, it seems impossible that we could ever be together. The situation depresses me sometimes, but I try not to let it keep me down. I still hold out hope that I'll ever have a chance with her, but it's fading as time goes by.

Either way, I'll keep on living. The alternative seems too final. For now, I'm going to sleep. Big day tomorrow, and I want to be fresh for it.

BW